


The Kids Aren't Alright

by Flamo



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Car Accidents, M/M, Multi, Past Character Death, Slow Burn, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, past trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-21 02:26:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9527696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flamo/pseuds/Flamo
Summary: Ryan is a senior who is incredibly stressed and doesn't sleep nearly as much as he should.Geoff is Ryan’s friend who drinks too much and should have graduated a year ago.Jack is their friend who is trying his best but feels like he’s always coming up short.Michael is the angry sophomore who isn’t sure he’s going to make it through the year.Gavin is Michael’s friend who can’t stop fucking everything up and doesn’t know why.Jeremy is the new freshmen who just wants to get through the day but finds himself dragged into the group.





	1. Maybe I Bit Off More Than I Could Chew

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what to say but I hope you enjoy?

Ryan blinked heavily, his mind slow and groggy as he tried to process what the loud beeping he was hearing was. It took him about a minute to realize his alarm is going off, and even longer to stumble out of his desk chair towards his alarm clock. After hitting the off button, he leaned against the wall, rubbing his face with his hands. He had fallen asleep at his desk again and probably hadn’t gotten any more than three hours of sleep, at best.

Letting out a sigh, he pushed himself off the wall and went to his closet to grab some clothes for the day. He tossed on a t-shirt and some jeans, not bothering to look for anything specific. He was too tired to care about something as trivial as looks. Luckily, he had showered the night before, so he wouldn’t have to worry about doing it that morning.

Running a hand through his hair, he slowly made his way to the kitchen, letting out a sigh of relief when he found no one else there. He didn’t want to deal with his parents or step-siblings, and he wondered briefly if they knew that, and that’s why they weren’t there. Not bothering to dwell on it, he made some toast and stuffed it in his mouth before grabbing his bag and making his way out of the house.

It was the first day his senior year, and while it was still extremely early, it was a 30 minute walk from his house to the school. He didn’t _have_ to walk—one of his parent’s would be more than willing to drive him—he would just rather walk. He tried to avoid cars as much as possible, but he didn’t want to dwell on that. Instead, he went over his schedule for the semester, and wondered what play they would be doing.

* * *

Jack stared at himself in the mirror—he didn’t know how long he had been doing it, but he felt like it had been a while. His hair was neatly combed, if slightly damp, and the beard he was trying to grow out was neatly trimmed. His clothes were clean and matching, and if anyone looked at him they would think he was the definition of put together.

In reality, Jack was falling apart. He dragged his eyes away from the mirror, grabbing his bag and making his way downstairs. He paused at the kitchen, wondering if it would be worth it to eat or not. With a shake of his head, he decided to skip breakfast. He would be fine—he had had a big dinner the night before, after all.

He quickly made his way out the front door before starting his way down the street, to a house less than a minute’s walk away. It was going to be the first day of his senior year, and he really needed to make his way to school, lest he be late, but he needed to do something first.

That something was checking on his best friend.

* * *

Geoff was a mess, a disaster, and he knew it. He knew it as he threw on whatever clothes he found lying around, knew it as he took another swig from the bottle his was holding. He knew he was a disaster and knew he had to pull himself together, because he was supposed to be going to school today, supposed to be redoing his senior year.

He couldn’t. He couldn’t pull himself together, so he took another swig as he stumbled around the house, looking for his bag. His mom had left an hour—was it an hour?—ago, leaving him with the house to himself. That is, until he heard the front door opening and a deep voice call his name.

 _Jack_.

He knew it was Jack; there was no one else it _could_ be—well, actually, it could be Ryan, because their voices _were_ a lot alike, but it made more sense for it to be Jack. He was right, because as he stumbled towards the front door— _there_ was his bag—he stumbled right into Jack.

“Hey, buddy,” Geoff said, grinning lazily at his best friend.

“You’re drunk,” was Jack’s reply, and he looked so tired, so defeated that Geoff almost regretted drinking that morning. Almost.

Geoff didn’t say anything, just grabbed his bag, and Jack didn’t say anything else, either.

They just made their way out the door and began their walk to school.

Like Ryan, they would rather walk than drive, despite the fact driving would be much quicker. Unlike Ryan, they only lived a 10 minute walk away.

* * *

Michael woke up in a cold sweat, sitting up almost immediately, already wide awake. That was the thing about nightmares—they were always good at waking him up. Which actually benefitted him that morning, because a quick glance at his phone showed that he had forgot to set his alarm and that he was running late.

It was supposed to be the first day of his sophomore year, and he really wasn’t looking forward to being late. So, he threw on the first things he found, brushed his teeth as quickly as he could, snagged a pop-tart from the kitchen, and ran out to his bike.

Luckily, he didn’t live far from the school, about a 5 minute bike ride. He _could_ walk, but usually took his bike because it was faster. Today, he didn’t really have a choice, considering he would only just barely make it on time if he rode as fast as he could.

 _What a great way to start the new year_ , he thought with a sigh.

* * *

Gavin woke up early, showered, brushed his teeth, and put on his best clothes. He ate some cereal—wrinkling his nose as he did so, still not used to the American brands—and went over his schedule. It was to be the first day of his sophomore year, and while he wasn’t exactly looking forward to it, he was looking forward to seeing his friends every day again. They hung out whenever they could over the summer, of course, but they were all busy and it was hard to get all five of them together.

He grinned at his mother when she walked in, nodding in agreement when she offered him a ride to school. He quickly finished up his cereal and gathered his stuff before making his way outside to the car.

He stared out the window and pretended he didn’t see the worried glances his mother would send his way.

* * *

 Jeremy was definitely not nervous—why would he be? He was only going to be starting his freshman year of high school in a new city—a new _state—_ and, okay, maybe he was a little nervous. Could you really blame him, though? He had made sure he got up early and showered, ate a proper breakfast and brushed his teeth. He put on some of his best clothes and even brushed his hair, which had been recently dyed green.

Really, there was nothing more that he could do but sit there and run over all the possible scenarios that could happen in his head. He really shouldn’t have gotten up so early, left so much time on his hands, but he also really didn’t want to be late.

Hesitating a moment, he sent a quick text to his friend back in Boston, Matt. Matt would most likely be in school already, but Jeremy doubted that he would really care. They texted in class all the time back in middle school.

_how r things in boston?_

He got his reply almost immediately.

_School sucks_

Jeremy let out a huff of laughter before checking the time again. It was still early, but late enough that he wouldn’t be the only person at school if he arrived now. He decided it was time to go, and quickly gathered his things before heading out. 

* * *

 Before entering the school, one thought rang through each of their minds:

_It’s going to be okay._


	2. Blessed Be The Boys Time Can't Capture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan & Jeremy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my best chapter, sorry!

It was only one week into the school year and Ryan was already struggling to keep up. He wasn’t sleeping well—hadn’t been sleeping well for months, now. The sleep deprivation was catching up to him fast, and it took everything he had to even get up in the morning. He wasn’t sure how he was going to make it through the semester.

The only thing Ryan had to look forward to was the upcoming play that they would be performing in December. They hadn’t announced what it was yet, but Ryan had been in every play since freshman year, so the drama teacher, Mr. Heyman, let slip to him when it was going to be performed and that is was a musical.

Acting was the one thing Ryan knew he could do, the one thing he could really count on. He had been acting since freshman year of high school and didn’t know what he would do without it. It was the only thing that got him through the second semester of his junior year.

Today, they were going to announce the musical, and Ryan felt more excited than he had in a long time—even his family noticed, and were glad he was happy.

Today, he would have a reason to keep going, at least until December.

* * *

Little Shop of Horrors. A musical.

Jeremy didn’t know what he expected when he learned the school was going to be putting on a play, but he didn’t expect a musical, much less Little Shop of Horrors. Wasn’t it a bit… morbid for high school? He wasn’t one to dwell on it, though—in fact, he was kind of excited.

He had seen Little Shop of Horrors once, a couple years back. He wasn’t particularly interested in theatre or musicals, but his mother had wanted to see it so he tagged along. He was pleasantly surprised to find that he liked it.

After some debate, he decided he might as well try out for the musical. He liked music—rap, in particular—and was debating going into the industry as a career. Performing in a musical would certainly help if he decided to go down that path. Besides, he figured it might be fun.

In the week he had been attending the school, he hadn’t made any friends. To be fair, he hadn’t really tried very hard, instead choosing to stick to himself and eat lunch outside, alone. He needed to put himself out there a little bit, push past his boundaries to make some friends. He didn’t want to spend four years in high school alone.

It was decided, then. Jeremy was going to try out for Little Shop of Horrors.

* * *

Little Shop of Horrors—Ryan could work with that.

Surprising to most people who knew him—aside from his group of friends—Ryan had a taste for things that were a bit more morbid and violent. Little Shop of Horrors wasn’t exactly violent, but it was on the darker side of the spectrum, and Ryan appreciated that. He was a bit surprised the school decided that would be the musical they were putting on, but he wasn’t one to complain.

Auditions would be in two weeks time, with non-mandatory meetings after school every day to help prepare students for their auditions. They were always looking for older students to help some of the younger students prepare, and Ryan was quick to agree when Heyman approached him about helping out. He remembered being a clueless, nervous wreck of a freshman and would be glad to help out.

Which was how he found himself sitting in the auditorium a half hour after school ended, surrounded by nervous wrecks of students. Heyman was trying to make a speech, but most students weren’t listening, which was probably good, considering the teacher kept going off on tangents completely unrelated to drama. Ryan noticed one student—a surprisingly short freshman—who was listening with his face contorted in confusion, and made his way over to him.

“Don’t listen to him,” Ryan said once he was close enough, “No one else does.” The boy blinked at Ryan, then glanced around the room, realizing he was right—no one else was really paying attention. “I’m Ryan, by the way,” The older boy said, holding out his hand.

“Jeremy,” The shorter boy replied, hesitantly taking the offered hand and shaking it before letting go.

“You planning on trying out for the musical, then, Jeremy?” Ryan asked, “Or are you going for a more backstage approach?”

“I’m, uh, thinking of auditioning, yeah,” Jeremy replied, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Anyone in mind yet?” Ryan asked, and Jeremy flushed a bit.

“Um, yeah, actually.” The smaller boy hesitated for a moment, “Maybe, uh, Audrey II?”

Ryan frowned at that, feeling his heart sink a bit. He really didn’t want to be the one to tell the boy this, but he didn’t want him to get his heart broken later, “Look, I’m not trying to crush your dreams or anything, but… Audrey II is a main role, and freshmen don’t often get leads.”

“I know,” Jeremy said quickly, face flushed, “I just figured… Wouldn’t hurt to try, y’know? And I’m not opposed to any other character or anything, just… Yeah.”

“I understand,” Ryan said, flashing Jeremy a smile—and he did, because he had thought the same way when he was a freshman. A lot of students did, he knew.

Ryan hadn’t gotten the lead, had gotten a background character, but that was beside the point. The point was that Ryan liked the boy’s hope—it was something he hadn’t seen in a while.

* * *

The next day, Jeremy was questioning his decision to audition for the play—Ryan was right, after all, and the chances of him getting the part he wanted were extremely low due to him being a freshman. Like he told Ryan, he wouldn’t mind getting any other part, but he was really hoping for Audrey II.

His whole morning was filled with debate over whether or not he should audition, and before he knew it, it was time for lunch. That was another problem—it was raining for the first time since school started, which meant he would have to eat inside.

He went and got his food from the cafeteria and awkwardly stood there for a moment, scanning the tables, before deciding _fuck it_ and going to eat in the hall. Before he could make it out of the cafeteria, however, he heard someone call his name, and whipped around, looking for the source.

Ryan. It was Ryan calling his name, waving him over to a table he was sharing with four other students. He approached hesitantly, unsure of why Ryan was calling him over.

“Are you looking for somewhere to sit?” Ryan asked, and all the other heads at the table—aside from one student, who seemed to be sleeping on the table with his head resting on his arms—whipped to stare at him. Jeremy nodded awkwardly, and Ryan grinned at him, “You can sit with us,” He offered, and all heads suddenly snapped from Jeremy to Ryan.

“What?” One of them squawked—Jeremy noted that he had an English accent—and Ryan fixed him with a glare. Another boy with curly hair just shrugged, while a larger, ginger boy smiled welcomingly at him.

“Sit down,” Ryan said, nudging a chair with his foot—the one across from him and next to the curly haired boy—and Jeremy quickly did so.

“I’m Jack,” The ginger boy introduced himself, holding out a hand for Jeremy to shake, “And this asshole here is Geoff.” Jack said, nodding at the sleeping boy. Jeremy hesitantly took his hand, still unsure of the group.

“Michael,” The boy with the curly hair said, giving Jeremy a quick nod before turning back to his food.

“I’m Gavin,” The British one said loudly, grinning around Michael at Jeremy, “You’re a freshman, right?”

“Yeah,” Jeremy said with a nod, and the sleeping boy—Geoff—finally lifted his head.

“How do you know him, Ryan?” Geoff asked, glancing between Jeremy and Ryan.

“Theatre,” Ryan replied simply, and Geoff gave a small nod of understanding before promptly dropping his head back on his arms.

“We’re seniors,” Jack said, pointing to himself and Ryan, “Geoff’s redoing his senior year, and Michael and Gavin are both sophomores.” Jeremy blinked—he knew at least Ryan, Jack, and Geoff were older than him, but he still didn’t expect to be the youngest of the group.

He spent the rest of lunch with the group, talking to Ryan, Jack, and Gavin while Geoff slept and Michael ate in silence. He felt like something was off in the group—like Gavin was trying too hard and there was a strain between the five of them, but overall it went really well, and Jeremy was glad.

Watching Ryan as he talked about all the past plays the school had put on and how excited he was for Little Shop of Horrors, Jeremy decided he would audition, after all.


	3. Fall To Your Knees, Bring On The Rapture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack & Geoff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the story will get better as things pick up

Jack wasn’t sure what he was doing. It was a week into school and he felt like he was just going through the motions, running on autopilot. He was doing well enough in his classes so far, but he wasn’t sure how long that would last. The teachers certainly wouldn’t give him the slack they gave him the year before, that was for sure.

Not to mention the fact that there seemed to be a new kid in their group and he wasn’t quite sure how he felt about that. The kid was nice enough, and Jack did like him, but he just wasn’t sure they were ready to let someone else into their group. He tried to be welcoming, though, because Ryan seemed to be happy to have someone else interested in the upcoming musical around, and he wanted Ryan to be happy.

The other problem was Geoff, who seemed to be drinking even more than before and was somehow already failing all his classes. They hadn’t seen much of each other over the summer, but they saw each other enough that Jack knew how much he drank, and this was definitely more than what it had been.

He understood why Geoff drank, really, but that didn’t stop him from being concerned for his friend’s safety. He wasn’t sure what he would do if he lost Geoff—he didn’t think he would be able to survive that.

* * *

Geoff knew he was drinking too much, but that didn’t stop him. It didn’t stop him from throwing his life away, and, honestly, if it wasn’t for his friends Geoff would have dropped out of school by now, wouldn’t be redoing his senior year. He needed his friend’s, though. He needed to be around them, because they were all he had. So, he sucked it up and downed another bottle before getting ready for school.

He slept through most of the days, too drunk and tired to bother with actually paying attention to his classes. He tried to stay awake at lunch, though, usually. The only problem with lunch was that Ryan seemed to have taken in a stray. Geoff wasn’t sure how he felt about that—on one hand, the kid was pretty cool, but on the other, it felt like he was filling a gap that no one in the group was sure they wanted to be filled.

He decided he would get to know the kid a little more before passing any judgment—he knew the rest of the group would follow his lead. If he said he didn’t want the kid around anymore, they would listen. If he said he wanted the kid to stick around, they would listen. Even Ryan would listen, and he was the one who had brought the kid in and seemed to be enjoying his company the most.

Geoff glanced at the empty beer bottle in his hand, then at the full one on the counter, before shaking his head. He had drunk enough, and he had a mission today. He didn’t want to be too drunk for it.

* * *

When Jack made it to Geoff’s house that morning to walk to school with him, he was surprised to see the other boy waiting on the porch for him, looking more sober than he had in a long time.

“You’re ready early,” Jack said, and Geoff nodded solemnly, mildly concerning Jack.

“I have a mission today.” Geoff said, and Jack felt dread fill his stomach.

“What kind of mission?” He asked hesitantly, not completely sure he wanted to know the answer.

“You’ll see,” was all Geoff said, ominously, and that did nothing to quell Jack’s anxiety.

He thought the words over, thought over the past couple of days, but couldn’t think of anything that would amount to a mission in Geoff’s eyes. He decided not to dwell on it too much, and to instead just keep an eye on the older boy throughout the day.

He felt something twist in his gut as thoughts of not being good enough to help his friends, not good enough for them to even trust him flooded him. It was true though, wasn’t it? Jack couldn’t help his friends, and they were pulling away from him more and more, making it even more difficult than ever before. Even Geoff didn’t seem to trust him enough to tell him what was going on.

He wanted to help, he really, truly did, but they acted like they didn’t need help, or like Jack couldn’t help them, because he wasn’t good enough. He wanted so badly to be good enough, to help them like he used to, to be the shoulder they could lean on, their confidant, but it seemed like they didn’t need him—didn’t _want_ him.

He tried to shake those thoughts away though—he knew they weren’t true, but there was a voice in the back of his head that wouldn’t let the thoughts go away, not completely. He knew his friends wouldn’t think those kinds of things about him, and he would just have to keep reminding himself of that fact.

Throughout the day, Jack kept a close eye on Geoff, but it wasn’t until lunch that everything clicked into place.

His mission was Jeremy—he was going to see if Jeremy really belonged in the group, and Jack was relieved. He knew he could trust Geoff’s judgement, knew the rest of the group could, too. If Geoff was okay with Jeremy sticking around, the rest of them could learn to be okay with it, too. Not that Ryan would have a problem, at least. Jack wouldn’t have much of a problem, either, he realized.

He just hoped everything would end well—for everyone.

* * *

Geoff made it through the morning without a hitch, actually managing to stay awake for most of his classes. By the time lunch came around, he had an idea for vetting Jeremy. He just hoped no one in the group realized what he was doing.

Geoff made his way to the cafeteria, collapsing into his seat at their usual table—which only held Michael at the moment—without bothering to get anything to eat. Jack would get him something or he just wouldn’t eat—he was fine either way.

Slowly, the group filled in, with Ryan and Jeremy arriving last. Geoff stayed quiet, watching the two interact. There was nothing odd about it—they were just talking about the upcoming auditions, and Ryan looked pretty happy about that. It was obvious to the whole group that Ryan liked having someone else who was interested in the play around. That was one down, then.

Jack was next, with his welcoming smile, but he casted Geoff a knowing look. He knew what Geoff was doing, then, but Geoff knew that wouldn’t impact his interactions with the younger boy. He watched as Jack asked Jeremy about how his classes were going, and smiled when he and Jack started discussing politics. It was obvious Jeremy wasn’t as into it as Jack, but he still humoured the older boy, so that was another one down.

Michael was next—the boy had barely talked to Jeremy at all since the smaller boy had started eating with them, and Geoff was a bit concerned. He knew Michael would have some difficulties letting someone new into their group—especially someone younger—so he needed to take that into account. He needed to make sure he would be okay with Jeremy eventually, even if he wasn’t now. Geoff couldn’t really expect the boy to be okay with the other boy just yet—that wouldn’t be fair. But when he saw Michael smile at something Jeremy said, Geoff knew it was going to be okay. That was another one down.

That just left him with Gavin. Gavin had been acting odd for a while now, obviously trying to keep things as normal as possible. They all knew that that wasn’t possible, that things had changed and they needed to change with it, but Gavin just couldn’t let go. Gavin was the one Geoff was worried about most—it was hard to tell when he was being genuine and when he was just trying to hold everything together. However, when he started throwing grapes at everyone at the table, including Jeremy, Geoff knew he was being genuine, for the time being. That was the last one down.

“Hey, Jeremy,” Geoff said, the first words he had ever spoken directly at the younger boy, and the whole table grew quiet, looking between the two, “Want to hang out with us after school today?”

And that was all it took for them to accept Jeremy into the group wholeheartedly.


	4. I'm Not Passive But Aggressive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael & Gavin

If anyone were to ask him, Michael would say he was _just fine, thank you very much_. No one bothered to ask him, though, and Michael wasn’t quite sure if he was annoyed or relieved by that fact. On one hand, he didn’t want to talk about it, but on the other… A part of him just wanted someone—anyone—to care enough to ask. Jack had, once, months ago, but Michael had snapped at him, so it was no surprise the older boy never asked again.

Michael was _angry_. He was angry all the time, with the littlest things setting him off, and he didn’t know how to control it. He didn’t _want_ to be angry, but he didn’t know how not to be, didn’t know how else to cope. So, he let his anger consume him.

The first time the group hung out with Jeremy outside of school, Michael lost control of his anger.

It wasn’t anything Jeremy did; it had just been building up inside of him all day—all week, all month, all year—and he couldn’t take it anymore. There was something about the younger boy; something about the way he seemed to be filling a gap in their group that made Michael’s stomach churn. It wasn’t Jeremy’s fault—he actually liked the boy—and Michael knew he was being irrational, but it didn’t stop the anger from bubbling up inside him.

They were walking out of the pizza place they went to after school when a teenager bumped into him and he lost it.

He threw one punch, then a second, then he was getting punched back and it escalated to a full on fight that didn’t stop until Geoff was dragging him away and Jack and Ryan were dragging the other boy away.

Michael didn’t feel angry anymore, after that.

* * *

Gavin didn’t know what to do. Geoff, Ryan, and Jack had all gone and broken up the fight, leaving him and Jeremy watching in on the sidelines in horror. Gavin didn’t know what to do, or how to feel, and it was obvious Jeremy felt the same way.

Then, they were hurrying away, Geoff practically dragging Michael as they all ran, none of them wanting to get into trouble. They didn’t stop until they reached a nearby park, all panting. The laughter started soon after that. Jeremy was the first one, a small, borderline hysterical laugh that was soon joined by Geoff, then the rest of them, until they were all laughing hysterically in the park. They got a few strange looks from strangers, but none of them noticed, they just laughed until they couldn’t laugh anymore.

They didn’t talk about the fight, all silently agreeing not to, even Jeremy. Gavin was surprised by how well the smaller boy fit into their group—he hadn’t expected it, but he was glad. It was nice having a new person in the group, and the fact he was younger was a bonus, because it meant no one could make fun of Gavin for being the youngest anymore.

They all decided to split ways after that, Geoff and Jack walking home together, Ryan offering to walk Jeremy home, and Jeremy agreeing. Soon enough, all that was left was Gavin and Michael.

“Want to walk together?” Michael asked—their houses were in the same direction, and they would be able to spend most of the walk home together. Gavin just shook his head.

“I think I’m gonna call my mum and ask her to pick me up,” Gavin said, “Want a ride?” Gavin didn’t miss the flash of panic on Michael’s face.

“Nah, I’m good…” Michael said, hesitating a moment before turning to walk away, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Gav.” Michael walked away, then, and Gavin couldn’t help but notice he had a limp. The other boy had really done a number on him, but Michael gave as good as he got.

That didn’t do much to ease Gavin’s concern, though—Michael had never gotten into a fight before, not like this. He hoped things would go back to normal soon; that Michael wouldn’t get into any more fights.

* * *

Michael spent the walk home trying to convince himself he wasn’t in pain. It didn’t work, and by the time he got home he was worn out and just wanted to lie down and sleep for a year. Unfortunately, his parents had other plans.

His father had been sitting in the living room, which he had to pass through to get to his bedroom, and noticed him as soon as he walked in. Or, noticed his bruised and bleeding face, more like.

That lead to an hour long discussion about how he couldn’t just start fights, and if anyone started a fight with him he shouldn’t fight back. Michael thought that last part was bullshit, but kept his mouth shut, not wanting the lecture to turn into an argument.

His parents were tired—he could see it in their faces. He could see that they had no idea what to do with him, no idea if they should even punish him for fighting. In the end, the just sent him to his room and told him not to leave until dinner.

Michael didn’t leave for the rest of the night. Instead, he turned on his Xbox and invited Gavin to a game of Minecraft. His bruised and bloody knuckles made it difficult to hold the controller, but he ignored that as best as he could and lost himself in a virtual world.

* * *

During the car ride back to his house, Gavin’s mom wanted to talk, but Gavin steadfastly ignored her. She wanted to know if he was okay, if there was anything he needed, but he just stared out the window and only said one thing the entire ride,

“I’m fine.”

His mom stopped talking after that, and the rest of the short drive was spent in silence. Gavin knew he was being difficult, knew his parents just wanted to help, but he really was fine and just needed everyone to stop hovering, to go back to normal.

He didn’t understand why no one would let things go back to normal, to the way they were before. That was all he wanted—was that too much to ask for?

Gavin ate dinner with his family in silence before retreating to his room. Upon booting up his Xbox, he found a game invite from Michael for Minecraft.

He played for the rest of the night without a break, talking and laughing with Michael over his headset. It was easy to pretend everything was normal in that moment.


	5. Fill Up The Trophy Case Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan & Jeremy

It was time for auditions and Ryan was beyond stressed. The past week had been a disaster—he was struggling to keep up with his schoolwork while also keeping track of his friends. Michael had gotten into two more fights since the incident at the pizza place, Geoff wasn’t showing up for classes, Jack was struggling to hold all of them together, and Gavin was acting like none of it was happening.

It was only three weeks into the school year and everything had already gone to shit.

Ryan was _tired_. He wanted to do well in school, wanted to help with his friends, but he was just too _tired_. So, he turned to the only thing that could make him feel good again—theatre. He spent a lot of time with Jeremy outside of school, talking about the musical and preparing for their auditions together. It was nice, a break from the shitstorm that had become his life.

He was good at acting, and he knew it, but he still had doubts sometimes. The doubt always made its presence known at the worst of times—like two hours before his audition. The only thing that kept him together was the knowledge that Jeremy doubted himself even more.

“You’ll be fine,” he said to the younger boy.

“But what if I’m not good enough,” was the reply he got.

“You will be,” Ryan said, because that was all he could say, because he didn’t have any other answer. He didn’t have an answer for Jeremy’s _if_ —he didn’t even have an answer for his own _if._

All he knew was that he was a good actor and he was going to audition for the role of Seymour.

* * *

Jeremy was a nervous wreck. He was about to walk into the auditorium for his audition and he was an absolute disaster. His hands were shaking and sweaty, and he was pretty sure the room got 10 degrees hotter. There was one thing that rang in his head, though, one thing that was loudest of all:

_You’ll be fine._

Those were Ryan’s words, said in a voice so easy and confident that Jeremy just had to believe them. The older boy hadn’t lied to him thus far—why would he start now?

He knew, logically, he was ready for his audition—he had spent the past two weeks going to the meetings after school almost every day, and had spent most of the weekend practicing with Ryan. He knew, logically, that he could do it, and that even if he didn’t get the part he wanted he would most likely get a background character, but that didn’t stop his anxiety from running rampant.

He realized he was shaking and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself down. Who was he kidding, though—theatre? When he had told Matt that he was auditioning for a musical his friend had burst out laughing, not believing he was serious. He didn’t even fully know why he was doing it—he probably would have backed out a while ago if it wasn’t for Ryan’s encouragement.

Maybe that was why he was doing it, then—for Ryan. Which seemed like a pretty dumb reason, but Ryan was the first friend he had made at the school, and had been so encouraging and excited by the prospect of him auditioning that he just had to go through with it.

At least he had someone to blame if it all went to shit, he reasoned as he walked out onto the stage.

* * *

Staring at the piece of paper taped to the wall in front of him, Ryan felt overcome with relief. He got a callback. So had Jeremy. Part of him had always known that he would—Heyman liked him too much to not at least give him a second shot—but it didn’t change the fact that a tiny part of him had been terrified he wouldn’t be on the callback list.

He was, though, and that was all that mattered. A part of him felt relieved that Jeremy was on the list as well—he liked the younger boy, and he seemed pretty excited about the musical. Of course, he could have pulled some strings for the boy to get a callback, but he would have felt dirty doing that. He was never one to play dirty—straightforward was the way to go, no matter what that entailed.

Suddenly, there was somebody beside him, somebody smaller, and Ryan knew who it was before even looking.

“You made it,” Ryan said, glancing over at Jeremy.

“This far, yeah,” The other boy replied, the nervousness and excitement he was feeling obvious in his voice.

“You’ll get the part,” Ryan told him confidently, hiding the fact he wasn’t actually certain what the outcome would be. The chances of the boy getting the part of Audrey II were low, after all.

“I don’t know…” Jeremy said, his voice trailing off in uncertainty. Ryan tried a different approach.

“You’ll get _a_ part.” He said, his eyes flickering back to the boy long enough to see him smile. They didn’t say anything else for a while, just stared at the callback sheet in silence, still taking in the fact that their names were on the list.

“C’mon,” Ryan said, eventually, nodding his head toward the stairwell to their left, “Let’s go get some lunch.”

They went and got lunch, and didn’t think about the fact they would have do another audition, just relished in the fact that they were chosen.

* * *

One week later, it was time for callbacks, but Jeremy wasn’t such a wreck this time. His hands were still shaky and sweating, but he didn’t find the room as hot this time. There were still words ringing in his head,—different from the last time, but full of the same confidence.

_You’ll get a part._

He would, he knew. He had gotten a callback, and he knew he was good. He had spent the week practicing with Ryan, going over his audition after school with him in the auditorium every day. He would get a part, but that didn’t change the fact he was nervous about auditioning.

He knew he could get the part if he did everything right, but if he wasn’t so confident he would get the part if he messed up. He had to do perfectly.

“Nervous?” A voice said behind him, and he whipped around to see Ryan standing behind him.

“Yeah, a bit,” Jeremy admitted, glancing down at his shoes.

“Me too,” Ryan said, and Jeremy’s head snapped back up. He hadn’t expected that—Ryan had always seemed so confident in his acting abilities that he assumed he would be just as confident about his auditions.

“Really?” Jeremy asked, maybe a bit too loudly if you considered the students that glanced over.

“Yeah,” Ryan said, smiling down at him, “I’ve been acting for a while now, but… I think just about everyone gets nervous about auditions.”

Jeremy felt oddly comforted by the older boy’s words. He hadn’t said anything particularly uplifting, but something about his admittance of being just as nervous as Jeremy lifted a weight that had settled on his shoulders.

For some reason, knowing he wasn’t alone made him more confident in his abilities. Ryan had gotten a lead in plays before, and if he could feel nervous, then Jeremy feeling nervous wasn’t anything to be worried about.

For some reason, Ryan’s words made him confident he would get the part he wanted.


	6. We Put Your Curse in Reverse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack & Geoff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this chapter at the same time as chapter 5, so make sure you check out that chapter first!

Jack had a fish. He had gotten it at the end of his junior year as a motivation to keep going.

His fish was sick. He didn’t know why, and couldn’t seem to be able to figure out why. He knew the fish could live for 5 years, and it had a big tank with a heater and filter, and he just couldn’t figure out _why_. It made Jack feel sick because he just couldn’t understand.

He wasn’t even good enough for a fish—couldn’t even keep it healthy. He tried—was still trying—so hard, but it never seemed to be enough. He just wanted to keep his fish alive—to keep _something_ alive.

You would think it would be simple—food, water, and shelter, the basic necessities. It wasn’t that simple, though, and Jack learned that early on. You couldn’t just keep something alive with the basic necessities—everything needed specialized care. There was always something that could happen—something unexpected and sudden that could take a life away in less than a second.

Jack’s fish was sick and he just wanted to keep it alive.

* * *

Geoff stopped going to school and started drinking more. If you asked him why, he would give you some bullshit excuse, but the real reason was Michael.

Michael had started getting into fights—more than ever before. The boy had always had anger issues, and had had his fair share of fights, but never this frequently. The fights were never as violent as they are now, and Geoff couldn’t help but feel as though it was his fault.

If you asked Michael, or any of the others, they would say it wasn’t his fault. They would say Michael just had a hard time coping, but he wouldn’t need to cope with anything if it wasn’t for Geoff. Sure, there could have been other issues that could have caused him to act this way, but that wasn’t the point. The point was he was acting this way because of Geoff’s fuck up.

He took another swig straight from the bottle, finishing it, and then stumbled in the general direction of his kitchen for another. His mother was home, but she was in her room and had given up on Geoff a long time ago, anyway.

Geoff grabbed another bottle and didn’t go to school that day.

* * *

Jack had had enough. Geoff hadn’t been in school the past two weeks, and Jack had had enough of his bullshit.

He understood that the older boy had problems, and needed a break, but he hadn’t so much as talked to anyone in the group for a _week_ and Jack was not going to stand for that. The group had been calling and texting him all week, but he never replied, not even when asked if he was okay.

Which was why Jack stormed over to the older boy’s house first thing Saturday morning and banged loudly on his door. Unfortunately, Geoff’s mom had been home, and opened the door with a scowl. When she saw it was Jack, though, her face softened and she ushered him in quietly, with a nod towards Geoff room. Nodding at her in understanding, he quietly made his way to Geoff’s room and slowly opened the door.

The other boy was still sleeping, his bed a mess and room reeking of sweat and alcohol. Jack wrinkled his nose in disgust before continuing into the room and walking up to Geoff’s bed. He stood there for a minute, looking down as the older boy, and frowned as he noticed he looked just as restless asleep as he did awake. Then, he grabbed the pillow out from under his head, effectively jerking the boy awake.

“What?” Geoff slurred, his eyes still clouded over from sleep.

“Get up.” Jack said sternly, grabbing his blankets and pulling them off the bed.

“Jack?” Geoff’s voice was clearer now, a tinge of anger in it.

“Get up.” Jack repeated, putting his hands on his hips and scowling down at the boy.

Geoff just groaned before rolling over onto his back and covering his eyes with his arm.

 _Desperate times call for desperate measures_ , Jack thought before leaving the room and heading for the kitchen. He returned a moment later with a pot full of water—Geoff’s mom had been expecting this—and promptly dumped it on Geoff.

“What the fuck!” The older boy screeched, leaping up and standing on his bed, soaking wet. “Do you know hard it is to get rid of this shit? My bed’s going to be soaked for days!”

“Sorry,” Jack said. He wasn’t sorry.

“Fuck you,” Geoff grumbled before hopping off his bed, “I’m gonna go shower. You know, since I’m already soaked.”

“Good.” Jack said cheerfully, and Geoff just shot him a glare before grabbing a towel—Jack couldn’t help but notice it was dirty—and heading for the bathroom. Jack let out a sigh before collapsing on the foot of Geoff’s bed and waiting.

He ended up waiting half an hour for the other boy, who emerged in only a towel and made his way back to his room. He didn’t bother asking Jack to leave before dropping the towel and getting dressed—they had known each other since they were kids and neither really cared much about privacy around the other.

“What do you want, then?” Geoff asked once he was finally dressed, facing Jack and crossing his arms.

“Let’s clean your room,” was all Jack said.

He was going to help Geoff begin to piece his life back together, whether he wanted to or not.

* * *

Geoff had begun to realize just how much he had missed by isolating himself from his friends for two weeks, and hated himself just a little bit more for it. Jack filled him in, and he felt his heart sink as he learned all the things he should have been there for.

“Ryan and Jeremy both got the parts they wanted in the musical,” Jack had said.

“What were they, again?” Geoff had asked.

“Seymour and Audrey II.”

“Isn’t Audrey II, like, a lead or something?”

“Yeah.”

And

“My fish is sick.”

“Do you know what’s wrong?”

“No.”

“I’m sorry man, I hope it gets better.”

And

“Michael’s started making Youtube videos.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah, it was Gavin’s idea.”

“What does he do?”

“Rage at video games. Gavin thinks it will help him get his anger out.”

“That sounds pretty cool.”

It took them a total of three hours to completely clean Geoff’s room, and by the time they were finished they were both worn out.

“Your room was disgusting,” Jack said, wrinkling his nose at the memory.

“Yeah,” Geoff replied, not bothering to defend himself.

“Sorry about your bed,” Jack said, and Geoff shrugged.

“I needed it.” The older boy said, and they left it at that. “Want to go get some ice cream?”

“Sure.” Jack said, “Do you want the rest of the group to join us?”

“No,” Geoff said, after a minute of contemplation, “Just us.” Jack was his first friend, and he had been neglecting him lately, so he wanted to spend some time with him—just the two of them. Jack deserved that, at least.

They made their way to a nearby ice cream parlour and both got cones that they took outside with them as they wandered around town, going up and down random streets and getting absolutely lost. He had missed this, he realized. He had missed spending time with Jack, with his friends. He didn’t even realize how much he missed it until he had it again, and he never wanted to let it go.

Geoff decided he would try, for his friends. He would go to school on Monday and he would _try_.


	7. On Film or Between The Sheets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael & Gavin

At Gavin’s suggestion, Michael had started making Youtube videos. Stupid videos of him screaming at stupid games, but he was actually getting views, and his friends thought it was a good way for him to get his anger out.

It wasn’t.

He was still angry, even after he screamed himself hoarse at video games. It just didn’t come with the same relief as fists connecting with skin. It wasn’t that Michael wanted to hurt other people; there was just something about the adrenaline rush that made him forget all the reasons he was angry. There was something about his fists connecting to skin that brought relief. There was something about fists connecting to _his_ skin that brought relief.

There was a part of him that liked the pain that came from fights, and that terrified him.

It wasn’t that he wanted to hurt himself—at least, he didn’t think so. He couldn’t really explain why he liked it, why fighting helped so much. The problem wasn’t that he didn’t _want_ to talk about it, like everyone assumed; the problem was that he _couldn’t_ talk about it, because there were no words for it. He couldn’t describe how the adrenaline pumping through him made him feel _good_ , how the pain from the fights made him feel _real_. He couldn’t explain it because he didn’t understand it himself. All he knew was that fighting was all he had, the only thing he was really good at—and he was.

Michael had never lost a single fight—half of his fights had been broken up before either party could be called a winner, and the other half he had won. He walked away from all his battles with a limp and bloody knuckles but he felt so _good_ that none of it mattered.

Michael couldn’t explain it, because there were no words that could, but he could try to show it with bloody knuckles and bruised ribs.

* * *

Gavin’s parents wanted to go to England for two weeks. Gavin did not want to go to England for two weeks.

He tried to argue with them, come up with reasons they shouldn’t go.

_“It’s barely a month into the school year!”_

_“I’ll fall behind in my classes!”_

_“I don’t want to leave my friends.”_

But they were having none of it.

_“It’ll be good for you, son.”_

_“You need a break, Gavin; after all you’ve been through.”_

_“Wouldn’t it be nice to see Dan again?”_

It seemed like the only person who understood was Michael, who was in no position of power to help Gavin get out of the trip.

Maybe it would be good for him, though. It _would_ be nice to see Dan again—they always filmed great things together, never hesitant to share their ideas with each other. It had been a long time since Gavin had last filmed—months had passed, and Gavin missed it. He hadn’t _wanted_ to stop in the first place, but he couldn’t bear to look at his camera anymore, couldn’t bring himself to upload the pictures and videos still on it to his computer.

Dan had a camera, though. He didn’t use it very often—only when Gavin was around, really—but his parents had bought it for him when they saw him and Gavin always filming, thinking Dan was as interested in film as Gavin. He wasn’t, but he appreciated the gift. It came in handy when they wanted to film from multiple angles at once, or when they were filming for a long time and Gavin’s camera ran out of battery, or that brief time period where Dan wanted to give photography a shot.

Gavin knew that if he asked, Dan would give him his camera without hesitation. He thought that it might be nice to have a camera again, to film with his friend again. Everything would be the same as it always was with Dan, and that’s exactly what Gavin needed—normalcy.

Maybe England was exactly what Gavin needed after all.

* * *

When Michael found out Gavin’s parents wanted to go back to England for two weeks, he immediately felt his throat close up. He didn’t want Gavin to go, simple as that. He didn’t like the thought of Gavin being so far away. It wasn’t that Gavin hadn’t gone back to the UK before, but after everything that happened… Michael didn’t want Gavin to be so far away.

It seemed like Gavin didn’t want to go either, at first. He had called Michael, ranting, as soon as he had found out, and Michael had just sat there, listening in shock. Did his parents really think it was a good idea to take him away? Even if it was only two weeks, the group needed him. He wasn’t sure they could survive being split for two weeks.

Then, it seemed like Gavin had changed his mind, as he was suddenly _excited_ to be leaving. Gavin told him he would be leaving in two weeks time.

Michael didn’t know what to do, what to say, so he didn’t say anything. Instead, he grabbed his controller, booted up his Xbox, grabbed his headset and microphone, started up his capture and _yelled_. He yelled and screamed and swore until his throat hurt and his voice was croaky. His parents didn’t interrupt him, didn’t scold him like any other parent would. They let him be, let him get his anger out.

Even after an hour, he was still angry.

He went to school the next day and beat up a random kid that brushed a little too close to him in the hallway. He got sent to the principals’ office while the kid was ushered off to the nurse. He would learn later that he broke the kid’s nose. The principal called his father, who showed up looking tired and worn. He didn’t even look at Michael as the principal told him what happened.

The principal sent Michael home early with two weeks’ worth of detention and a warning that the next fight would result in suspension. Michael’s father didn’t look at him until they were outside, glancing between his son and his car.

“Do you want me to drive you home?” Michael’s father asked, his voice soft, concerned. Michael frowned.

“No.” He said quickly, looking away from his father. He didn’t want him to see his face, see the fear in his eyes at the mention of driving.

“Okay,” His father said quietly, “Come straight home.” He tried to sound stern, but Michael could hear the concern, hear the way his voice wavered. There was no threat behind his words. Michael could easily not go home until nightfall and not get in any trouble. He wasn’t going to do that, though, because he was tired.

Michael simply nodded, and his father spared him one last look before climbing into his car and driving off.

Michael walked home quickly, not wanted to be left alone with his thoughts for long, just wanting to go home and sleep. It was on his walk home that he realized why Gavin leaving made him so angry. He didn’t want Gavin to leave him, to abandon him. He needed the other boy, needed him near.

Michael was in love with his best friend.

* * *

Gavin was worried about Michael. The other boy had started acting odd around him ever since he announced he was going back to England for a few weeks, and Gavin couldn’t figure out why. He hadn’t done anything to warrant Michael’s behaviour—at least, he didn’t think so.

Every time Gavin would ask him if he wanted to play Minecraft together or if he wanted to hang out after school, the other boy would stutter out some excuse and rush off. Even when they were together with the group Michael was acting weird—almost as if he was avoiding Gavin, and he didn’t know why.

Gavin left for England two weeks later, his friends all following him to the airport to see him off—everyone except Michael. Gavin wasn’t angry, but he was disappointed. He realized it might be difficult for the other boy to let him go, after everything that happened, but he was only going to be gone for two weeks. Gavin knew he would be fine in that time.

After much pestering via their friends over two days, Gavin finally convinced Michael to Skype with him. He was having fun in England with Dan, but as close as he was with Dan, he was just as close—if not more—to Michael. It was different, though, with him and Michael. They were close in a way he wasn’t close with Dan, and when he didn’t have Michael near him he felt almost empty, like a part of him was missing. He didn’t dwell on it, though.

Their first Skype call was tense and awkward, Michael barely glancing at the screen the whole time, as if he couldn’t bear to see Gavin’s face. Gavin felt a bit put-out at that, but didn’t say anything. Their talk was stunted, very different from how it was before. Gavin hated it.

Their second Skype call was five days into his trip and a lot better than the first. Michael seemed to be getting over whatever had gotten into him the past couple weeks, and seemed genuinely glad to see Gavin. Gavin was relieved by that. They talked about anything and everything that call—except for Gavin’s trip. Michael still seemed upset by the fact Gavin was in England, so he kept any talk about how his trip was going was brief. He didn’t want things to be tense between them anymore.

Their Skype calls continued throughout his trip, each one getting less and less tense until they were the same as they had always been again. Gavin wasn’t sure what had gotten into Michael, but he was glad that whatever it was, he had gotten over it.

Michael aside, his trip was going great. He was enjoying spending time with Dan again, filming everything that came to their mind. It was also nice to see his cat, Lloyd, who he had had to leave with his grandfather when they left for America. It was a nice break from everything happening back in Texas, and it was easy to pretend everything was back to normal, like he had just come to visit England like they always did at least once a year.

Gavin was doing okay, and it was easy to pretend that when he got back to Austin, everything would be exactly as it once was.


End file.
